


These Points of Data Make a Beautiful Line

by wyomingnot



Series: Lonely Robot Boy [2]
Category: Ex Machina (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, M/M, Not 3 Laws Safe, Robot Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2016-05-27
Packaged: 2018-07-10 12:50:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6985879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wyomingnot/pseuds/wyomingnot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Did you download my brain into a robot?”</p><p>“No. Well, not exactly.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	These Points of Data Make a Beautiful Line

Caleb wakes up for the first time.

He opens his eyes to Nathan's face hovering over his. Nathan smiles.

“Hey! There you are. How you doin', man?”

All systems check operational. But that's not the right response. Caleb reconsiders. “Okay. I guess.” He knows his answer wasn't noticeably delayed.

Nathan asks, “Do you know where you are?”

Visual, auditory, and olfactory inputs indicate Nathan's lab. Again, not the right response. “We’re in your lab.” 

“That's right.” Nathan's tone is condescending, which Caleb hates, but he’s pleased to know he's right. “And who am I?”

Caleb's already tired of the questions, but he knows this is just the beginning. Besides, he has plenty of questions of his own. No harm in cooperating at this point. “You're Nathan Bateman. Founder of Bluebook.”

“Now for the big one.” Nathan pauses for effect. “Who are you?”

It's not a hard question. “I'm Caleb Smith.” But then he thinks. Only it's not thinking so much as processing. “Not Caleb.” He sits up, neatly avoiding cracking his skull into Nathan's, and looks around the room, then down at himself. Notices the computer cable coming out of his wrist, the actual connection hidden by a flap of not-skin. He holds up his wrist to look more closely, then looks to Nathan. “Did you download my brain into a robot?”

Nathan gives a surprised laugh. “No. Well, not exactly.”

Caleb sifts through all the memory he has access to. He knows he's a robot, but he also _knows_ he's Caleb. “Caleb isn't just a designation. It's not just a name you picked and filled in a form with.”

“You're right. But we can talk about it later. How about we take a walk? You've seen it all before, but not with those eyes.”

Caleb wants to argue. He wants to know what “not exactly” means. This is important. But then again, Nathan's right. It can wait.

***

Nathan’s also right about the eyes. Caleb has a virtual heads-up display right there. Thinking about where they’re going brings up a small window with a map of the facility. It’s something he’ll have to spend some time playing with.

The tour is brief. Through the lab, a room of miscellaneous spare parts that looks like a museum, long corridors, kitchen, living room, workout room, a guest bedroom. Nathan’s giving what sounds like a standard tour guide monologue. It’s all being recorded, he knows. He can access it in detail later.

As he pokes around in his head, he sees various surveillance and recording functions. No obvious shutdown protocols. More things to await answers for. But one question can’t wait.

They’re standing in what Nathan has just told him was Caleb’s room. “Why am I here?” Caleb asks. 

“I thought about keeping you in Ava's room, but I didn't think you'd like it.” 

Caleb flags “ _keeping_ you” to look at later. “That’s not what I’m asking.”

Nathan leans against the wall and crosses his arms. That can’t be good. “Because I made you.”

“Obviously.” Caleb rolls his eyes. “But why _me_? Why Caleb?”

“Remember how I said I'd miss having you around?”

It's not exactly remembering, but in his memory, there's all the surveillance video from Caleb's visit to test Ava. And there it is: a conversation on his (well, Caleb's) last day. 

“So you just…” Caleb huffs and hides his face in his hand. He looks back up and shakes his head. “Of course you did.” He looks around the bland room. He doesn’t like it. No windows. He’s staring at the wall where windows really should be when Nathan pushes off the other wall, walks over and puts his hand on Caleb’s shoulder. 

“You were good company. And, well, it gave me the chance to try something different with the AI programming.”

“What—” 

“Something different that we can talk about later.” He squeezes Caleb’s shoulder. “I ended the tour in here for a reason.” He looks pointedly at the bed.

“I just got up and you’re tucking me into bed already?”

“Burn-in might be easier if you’re just kickin’ back at first. Let all the systems integrate. There’s some peripheral stuff loading in a background task that’s going to take some time to process.” Nathan hesitates. “And I know it’s kinda awkward, but you’ll need to recharge in here or the lab with an actual cable. I still haven’t smoothed out that induction plate bug Ava had.”

Caleb hadn’t even thought about that. He’s accepted that he’s a machine. His body doesn’t look or feel like a machine, but it is. And all machines need power. He sighs and looks over at the bed. Sure enough, there’s a cable coiled up on the nightstand. 

“Take as long as you need. Take breaks. Whatever. There’s clothes in the closet. You don’t actually need to eat or drink, but if you want water, there’s some in the fridge. Meanwhile, it is actually late, and I gotta crash. I didn’t sleep for probably three days finishing you up.”

Caleb sits down on the edge of the bed, hands in his lap. “Well, then. Goodnight?”

“Goodnight, Caleb.” Nathan smiles. “It’s good to have you back.”

***

Once Nathan’s left, Caleb gets up and walks around the room. It’s exactly as he ‘remembers’. He opens drawers and doors, and it’s like Caleb never left. And maybe brought another suitcase.

Of course he’s not tired, but a quick check of the time tells him it’s not an unreasonable time to go to bed. He looks in a drawer for sleepwear and finds a suitable T-shirt and some light sweatpants. He changes out of the scrubs he’d been in and sits on the bed. The flap of skin where he’d been cabled in the lab isn’t hard to find (he’ll ask later about bracelets or something to cover it up), and he pretends it doesn’t feel ridiculous to be tethered to the wall like a cell phone.

***

He spends hours that first night actively watching all of the surveillance footage from Caleb’s visit, looking for clues as to why Nathan would choose to make a copy of Caleb. He wonders if he can alter his own code, but comes up short when he tries to access it. All he can get to is a task manager. He can see what’s running, but he can’t actually see or touch any code.

Of course he spends some time figuring out just what he can see on his HUD. It doesn’t take long to notice the massive sort-and-archive happening to one side. He zooms in to investigate it and finds out what ‘not exactly downloading a brain’ means.

He seemingly has the entirety of the original Caleb Smith’s digital footprint in his system. Emails, phone calls, surveillance videos, Facebook, chat logs, Netflix queue… anything and everything associated with Caleb’s identity that was ever on a networked computer. All of it just dumped randomly into this Caleb’s memory-storage. His speech patterns are modeled from the chat logs, but there does seem to be a problem with the interface, given how he had to stop himself earlier from saying things Caleb never would.

So that’s one less question. But it raises plenty more.

***

Caleb receives a small alert in the corner of his vision early the first morning. 6:30am, the default weekday alarm clock setting on Caleb’s phone.

He figures he probably has a while before Nathan or Kyoko are up and about. Plenty of time to get dressed and wander around the house (facility?) unsupervised. He disconnects his cable and coils it neatly on the table again. The sorting process is still running, but all the updates and uploads were complete hours ago. 

A quick search of records tells him the clothes in the closet are all items purchased online by Caleb Smith in the past year. He tries and fails not to be creeped out by the thought of Nathan specifically digging up this information. The blue hoodie seems to be a popular choice, going by its frequent appearance in work photos. He puts it on and understands why. It’s very comfortable. It’s good to know the extent of his ability to feel things.

***

The view from any room in the house that actually has windows is amazing. Caleb’s been standing in the kitchen watching the river and the trees for quite a while before Nathan finally shuffles in.

“I have a few questions,” Caleb says. (He actually has 1,542, though the number keeps changing as he thinks of new things or figures something out.)

“I bet you do,” Nathan says as he goes through the coffee routine Caleb recognizes from the surveillance footage. “Start with something small. It’s early.”

“What did you mean yesterday by ‘not exactly’ when I asked if you downloaded my brain into a robot?” He knows the answer, of course, but it’s a really good place to start. 

Nathan leans against the counter while he waits for the coffee. “That is not a small question, Caleb.”

“Okay. Then why do I get a room with proper walls and can roam around at will, but Ava was kept in a glass box?”

“Fuck. It really is too early for this. Try again.”

“Um. What’s the plan for today?”

“There we go. I’ve got a stack of stuff I’ve put off while I was in the home stretch with you. I figured I’d get back to that. You haven’t finished crunching data yet, have you? I know you’re fast, but I’m doubtful that you could get everything…sorted…overnight.”

“I’m nowhere near done yet, no. It’s going to take a while.” Caleb bites his lip then continues. “It’s only been one night, but it’s already getting a bit boring. Yeah, it’s informative. Useful. Necessary. But. Well.” Caleb ducks his head a little. “I don’t suppose you’ve got Netflix or something? There’s a few things Caleb’s watched and talked about. Might be useful to have some context?”

“Fair enough. I do not have Netflix, but I think I can get that up for you this morning. Sure.”

Caleb smiles. 1,541.

***

They settle into a routine of sorts. Breakfast first thing. Caleb doesn’t eat, he just has whatever Nathan is drinking. He asks simple questions about his construction or operations ( _swimming and baths are okay—freshwater only. Eyes are fucking magic, man. I’ll give you the diagrams later. Yeah, the code for the eyes is ripped off from some NASA projects. Shhhh_ ). If the discussion is going well (almost every time), Caleb follows Nathan to his workout. Occasionally, Caleb works out as well, creating specific reports of the workout’s impact for Nathan to check later. Sometimes he just watches. All the time he’s still shuffling and sorting all the Caleb data.

Lunch is just a pause somewhere in the middle of the day. A break for food. An actual stop to whatever’s happening in the lab or workout room. (Some days Nathan does nothing but work out. Those days Caleb pays closer attention to the sorting process. Because while Nathan is objectively a reasonably attractive and fit man, he’s not really Caleb’s type. Either Caleb. And even if he was, watching someone work out all day is boring and quite possibly creepy.)

Evenings always include a nice sit-down dinner and drinking afterwards, but only for Nathan. Caleb feels it would be wasteful to consume either food or alcohol since he doesn’t need either to function. Caleb joins Nathan for dinner. He doesn’t feel awkward about not eating at first, but as the nights go by and he’s processed more and more data, he begins to feel increasingly so.

They have question-and-answer talks after dinner. Sometimes Nathan drinks too much, sometimes he doesn’t. The questions he asks when drunk aren’t any less probing, but they do tend to be much more personal.

***

One morning, Nathan brings a tablet to the breakfast table. Caleb peeks while Nathan gets his food. Summaries of last night’s logs. Caleb doesn’t like the formatting, but the logs aren’t for him, and he couldn’t change them anyway. He doesn’t like that he’s still being this closely monitored, though he completely understands.

Nathan sits down and waves vaguely at the tablet. “I know there’s a lot of data to go through,” he says, “but I really thought you’d be done by now. Is there a problem?”

“Maybe? I've had to spend a lot of resources sifting and sorting. And okay, everything has to be analyzed, but I had to start from a giant unsorted pile. Caleb’s life is very ordered, structured… It’s like you took all his desk drawers from work and dumped them in a pile,” he says, miming the actions. “Then dumped out his dresser drawers and junk drawers in the pile too. And then stirred them around. I'm still working on it. I've been online how long now?”

“You know precisely how long.”

“Well, yeah. But do you?”

“Caleb.”

“Okay. I've been online for two weeks now, and I'm still not through everything. I am processing 24 hours a day. I do get more done during 'sleep time', when it's all I'm doing. But you dumped several metric fuck-tons of data into that big pile in the middle of the floor. Don't get me wrong. This stuff is great. This is why I'm working and Ava isn't.”

“How do you mean?”

“Ava had no real sense of self. Yeah, she knew she was 'Ava' and that she was a robot. And where she was and who you were and what she could do. But that's it. She was a label. A grey box. That could fuck, yeah. But she had no _history_. No experiences. And even if you had taken her out into the world, she would've had to start from scratch.”

“And you didn't.”

“Right. I had the benefit of all of Caleb's experiences available digitally. No, I don't have his actual memories of anything. But I have records; I have all his recorded responses to things that correspond to those records. And I have all that as the basis of my ‘self’. This is who I am. Caleb Smith. Who has said he doesn’t have a favorite color, but we really do. It’s blue.”

“We?”

“He and I both. We. Of course, the longer I'm online, the differences between Caleb and myself are going to grow. I'm Caleb, too, but our experiences are no longer the same. I don't know about anything that's happened since the data dump. The most recent timestamp in there was a month before I came online. If you want me to be as close as possible to the original Caleb, I'd need more regular updates.”

“Growing attached to real boy Caleb, are we?”

“I would think you’d appreciate optimal verisimilitude.”

“I think you’re doing okay. You’re close enough for me.”

“But maybe not close enough for _me_. I don’t suppose you could give me some access to my code, could you? I think I could tweak things a bit. Smooth things out here and there. Caleb-ify the classification of ‘memories’.” 

Nathan looks almost offended. “You don’t like my sorts?”

“Equal weight is placed on every item. And okay, you had to start somewhere. But I think I’m far enough along in the process that… well, it’d be more like Caleb picking up the stuff off the floor and putting it back in drawers, and less like Nathan doing it. ”

“You might have a point. I’ll think about some access.” 

“Thank you.”

***

Eventually the sort is finished. With all the data now integrated into his system, Caleb figures it must be time for testing, but Nathan doesn’t say anything about it. After a few days, Caleb brings it up over dinner.

“Will Caleb come to administer a Turing test?" Caleb asks.

“Nah. I have absolutely no doubts about you.” Nathan puts his hand on Caleb's shoulder.

“Okay. Then what's next?”

“Next? There is no next.” Nathan shakes his head. “We might get you some new clothes though.”

“I don't understand.” Which is not new, sure. There have been loads of things he didn't understand, but he knew how to figure things out. Not that he's had much experience in figuring _people_ out.

“C'mon, Caleb. Sometimes I do things for no reason. Or because it's fun to make shit. Or because I'm tired of being here by myself.”

“Oh.” Caleb scratches his head. “Okay.”

“What would I do next anyway? Take you out and parade you around all the tech shows? Subject you to constant intrusive testing and scrutiny? Fuck that. Besides, you're far too specialized for mass production. Though there's probably some use for bits of the programming. Make more personable tech support chat bots, if nothing else. Hell, you could probably sit down and bang out some rough code for that right now.”

It's something different, at least. “Maybe. I haven't coded in a while. Or, well. Actually, never.” He grimaces.

“Yeah, but you've got everything Caleb's ever coded for me in there,” Nathan says, pointing a fork at Caleb's forehead. “After dinner, we'll get you set up on your own workstation. How's that sound for what's next?”

He can't help but smile. Coding would give him something to do outside of his own head. “That works. Yeah.”

After dinner, before he's had too much to drink, Nathan guides Caleb to a room he's never seen before, other than on the compound's blueprints that he has access to for some reason.

The room is like most of the rooms he's seen. Spacious, spare. No windows. But this one has a solid wall of plasma screens mimicking a wall of windows. There's a large sofa and coffee table facing a desk. On the desk are three large monitors, a keyboard, and a mouse. Nathan sits down in the chair that looks suspiciously like the ridiculously expensive desk chair Caleb has wish-listed on Amazon.

Caleb turns his head away while Nathan clicks and types for a few minutes (six minutes, three-point-zero-seven seconds).

“Okay. Just a reminder. The NDA Caleb signed effectively applies to you, too,” Nathan says. “And I'm showing you a hell of a lot more than I ever showed him. Not that you've got anyone to share it with. But that's not the point.”

 _The point is that you're paranoid_ , is what Caleb wants to say. It's what he thinks, given that the paranoia is actually warranted in this case. But Caleb's got a surprisingly strong sense of self-preservation, and actually saying that would be a Very Bad Thing. “The point is that maybe you'll bring someone else up here at some point. Or maybe someone will just show up. Or, y'know.” Caleb shrugs. “You're just covering your bases. What happens at Nathan's stays at Nathan's. I get it.”

“It's not that I don't trust you. I don't trust _anyone_. Kyoko doesn't know English for a reason.”

“Because you didn't program her to.” Caleb smirks at Nathan's wide eyes. “You gave me very sensitive ears.” He makes a little jazz-hands motion. “I can hear her servos.”

“Huh. That's not a problem for you, is it? Too much extraneous input?”

“Not really. I can ignore stuff by 'dialling down' ranges of frequencies. I don't actually hear the servos anymore. Hers or mine. Cancelling out your snoring was a fun exercise.” It wasn't, actually, because Nathan doesn't snore. But it's fun to pull his leg.

“I don't snore.”

“Everybody says that.”

“Everybody in your vast social circle?”

“Well, yes. You _are_ my social circle.”

Nathan turns around in the chair and looks up at Caleb, smiling. “Nice.”

Caleb shrugs and lets it go. “Nah. You don’t snore.”

Nathan stands up and offers the chair to Caleb. “Anyway. Here you go. Just put your hand on the card reader there.” Caleb sits and does as instructed. “And there’s your workspace. Got a project queued up for you on the side. See how that goes.”

“Cool. Thanks.”

“You are welcome, Caleb. I am going to go do some work of my own. Have a good night.”

“You too.” Caleb smiles and gives a weak wave as Nathan closes the door behind him.

All he needs is the smallest opening. Giving him access to any code and a compiler is like throwing the doors to the system wide open.

Not tonight, though. He’ll have to start small. Take his time. But that’s okay; he has plenty of that.

***

Caleb discovers that the best time to ask delicate questions is later in the evening after Nathan’s been mixing the beer and vodka.

“Can I ask a question?”

“Knock yourself out, dude.” Nathan salutes him with his bottle.

“Okay. You kept Ava in one room.”

“It was a suite. And that’s not a question.”

“Ha.” Caleb rolls his eyes and rephrases. “I never saw Ava outside of her rooms. But you gave _me_ a tour when I first came online. I’ve been walking around all over the place.”

“There are doors that won’t open for you. And still not a question.”

“I can wander around fairly freely. Could Ava?”

“Freely? No. It was a test. A supplement to the one you were doing. One that she failed.”

“What kind of test?”

“Caleb. What does it matter?”

“It matters to me.”

“I’m not answering questions about Ava.”

“Fine. Okay. I am an experimental robot with artificial intelligence. Why am I allowed to roam freely? Why am I not confined? You have no idea what I might do.”

“Actually, I do,” Nathan says. He gets up and gestures to Caleb. “Let me show you something.” He leads them to what Caleb thinks of as Nathan’s office (Nathan’s never called it anything). He sits down at the terminal and brings up a series of windows showing surveillance footage. The time/date stamps indicate a period of time well before Caleb’s first day. But in the first window, there’s an expressionless Caleb wandering down a hallway. Another window with a later date, and Caleb is sitting in Ava’s room, pleading to be let out. There are more, but Caleb turns away.

“Let’s just say three were less than desirable results when I kept you, or any of the others, confined.”

***

There's one beautiful crystal clear moment when he truly is Caleb Smith. He feels it in his bones, in his gut, though he has neither. When he has that actual thought, the moment is gone. He can act like Caleb, could pass for him even to people who know him well. But it's just an act. He will never _be_ Caleb Smith. He'll never have the chance to see if he could pass.

***

They spend a certain amount of time playing video games. Caleb's hand-eye coordination is superior, of course, but when he plays as Caleb would, he loses. Badly. The real Caleb apparently doesn't pay attention – he plays the same way regardless of opponent or situation. After he properly analyzes Nathan's strategy, he quickly and summarily beats Nathan.

Nathan tosses his controller down and points an accusatory finger. “That was not Caleb.”

“Caleb 2.0, at your service.” He inclines his head in a mock bow. A wicked grin belies any apparent humility.

Nathan strokes his beard for a long minute. “Tell me, Caleb 2.0, do you or original recipe Caleb know anything about wrestling?”

Caleb shakes his head, grin fading. “Nope. Not unless I look it up.”

“Don't.” Nathan shuts off the TV and gets up. “Follow me.”

***

Wrestling turns out to be something he could probably be good at with practice, especially if he didn’t limit his apparent strength to original Caleb levels. This body is much stronger, though still nearly as vulnerable. Caleb has a much longer reach and better flexibility than Nathan, but with the limited strength, Nathan is literally wiping the floor with him.

He’s pinned once again, but this time is different. This time, Nathan has an erection, and it’s poking Caleb’s groin, right next to his flaccid penis. Caleb looks up at Nathan’s face. Nathan is staring back.

“Um.” Caleb makes a throat-clearing noise. “...The sexual aspects of my programming haven't been relevant before.” One brief experimentation with masturbation doesn’t count. “I've had so much other stuff to deal with. I don't know what to do with this.”

“You've got it in you, Caleb,” Nathan says as he grinds his hips down into Caleb's.

Actual flesh-and-blood Caleb's pornography profile is all over the map, and his digital records don't really give any idea of Caleb's actual sexual experience. He furiously runs through a handful of scenarios, trying to figure out his best move.

“I can hear you thinking, man.”

“That is not helping.”

“This can’t be a robotic gay freak-out. I’ve seen your porn.”

Caleb glares. The effect is lost when he tries to shift, which causes his penis to rub against Nathan’s. He can’t stifle the moan. “Shit.”

Nathan leans in and noses behind Caleb’s ear. “Turn off all the processing. Just be Caleb.”

He squeezes his eyes shut, overwhelmed by the sensations. He honestly had no idea of the sensitive spots on this body. The lack of visual input doesn’t help; it reminds him of what he is. All he sees now are the process displays that normally overlay his vision. “I don’t know if I can do that.” 

“Of course you can. Look around in that great big brain you’ve got.” 

Caleb would give him a withering look, but Nathan’s face is still buried in Caleb’s neck. He sighs and keeps his eyes closed, looking around at the various displays that are always there. He’s combed through them before, even managed to rearrange and customize the setup. He’s never seen anything resembling an off switch or setting. 

Nathan is rocking his hips into Caleb’s as he nibbles his way down Caleb’s neck. “That’s not helping me think,” Caleb says.

“It’s not supposed to,” Nathan mumbles into his skin.

For all that he’s unfamiliar with sex, he does know when something feels good in a sexual way. He wonders if it’s because it’s Nathan doing it—is that something he specifically programmed in?—or if it would turn him on regardless. And does it matter?

He can’t shut off the processing without completely shutting all systems down. But maybe without the display, he could sort of forget…

Caleb thinks “displays off”. Everything dims and a prompt appears: `<<Disable all graphic overlays? Y/N>>`

“Yes,” he says and twitches his finger as if to type a Y. 

“What?” Nathan asks.

“Nothing. Just. Talking to myself.” 

Nathan lifts his head up. “Working things out?”

“Yes. Why did you stop?” Nathan thankfully goes right back to where he was.

Caleb is more careful responding to the next prompt: `<<Disable all alerts? Y/N>>` He thinks instead of speaking, “Life-threatening emergencies only.”

`<<Confirmed>>`

And then there’s nothing. Darkness. He opens his eyes and it’s just the ceiling and part of Nathan’s head. No reminders that he’s anything but a guy getting off with another guy. “Whoa. Fuck,” he gasps as he arches his back up for more.

***

Caleb gets up and leaves when Nathan falls asleep and Kyoko gets up to charge herself. He doesn’t watch TV or code while charging this time. He just replays the afternoon and evening’s events and tries to analyze everything. Was he just following his programming, or was he actually into it? By morning, he decides it doesn’t matter. It felt good. He likes it and would do it again.

***

“Let’s go outside.”

“Outside?” He’s sat on the deck with Nathan before on a few pleasant evenings, but they hadn’t ventured any farther from the house.

“Yeah. Take a little hike. Do a little climbing. I don’t know about you, but I’m getting a little stir crazy inside.”

Caleb was never outdoorsy. But this new body isn’t going to freckle any further or get all sweaty. He hasn’t actually thought about going outside before. There is one consideration to make, though. “I gotta warn you. Caleb’s not the most graceful person.”

“You think I’d intentionally program you to be a klutz?” Nathan doesn’t give Caleb a chance to respond. “Hell no, man. You are fucking poetry in motion, given the opportunity.” He reaches over and touches the control panel by the door.

A heavy bass beat fills the room, and Caleb finds himself standing up, moving with the music to a clear space on the floor. Dancing. The same dance Kyoko and Nathan did for Caleb. He doesn’t want to dance. He can’t stop. “What the fuck, Nathan?!” he yells over the music.

Nathan joins Caleb on the improvised dance floor, jumping right into the steps. “See? Look at you move!”

Caleb frantically searches for some sort of override. He does have a few, but apparently not for this. The dancing continues, and he is positively seething. “Turn it off!”

“Aw, c’mon, Caleb. Loosen up!”

Caleb’s a fucking disco king, moving like he’s never moved before, and he hates every step. “No! This is not okay! Make it stop!” 

“Okay, okay!” Nathan boogies back over to the panel and shuts off the music. 

Caleb nearly falls down as control over his movement abruptly returns. He’s shaking with rage. “What the actual fuck, Nathan?”

Nathan just stands there, hands on his hips. “You said that already.”

“I'm not a fucking Caleb doll for you to dress up and pose and play with!”

“Hate to break it to you, man, but that's exactly what you are. You and Ava and Kyoko and all the others.”

“No. That's where you're wrong. Yes, you are wrong, Nathan. If you just wanted a doll, you wouldn't have put Caleb in here. Or at least not so much of him. I may be servos and circuits and wire and cables, but I am Caleb. I'm not some mindless text-predicting code!”

“Caleb...”

“Look. I know you're not good with people. That's okay. I’m not either. Maybe that's something we can work on. But right now, I'm going to take a break. I'm going to go back to my room and watch some mindless sitcom that Caleb likes.”

He takes a deep breath he doesn't need, turns his back on Nathan, and leaves the room. 

The echo of a bottle crashing against a wall follows him down the corridor.

***

“Recovered from your tantrum?” Nathan asks the next day. It's late morning, and Nathan's looking particularly rough.

“Recovered from yours?” Caleb snarks back.

“Wow.” Nathan stops and turns his head to actually look at Caleb. “You really aren't him, are you?”

“I like to think this is what he'd be like if he lived with you like I do.” Caleb leans against the counter. “Hell, maybe he is more like this now. Have you talked to him lately?”

“Not lately, no. Did a little follow-up shortly after he left. He seemed about the same.” 

“But I've got newer data than that.” _And I can hear a lie, too_ , he keeps to himself. 

“I may have liberally interpreted the data audit clause of the NDA.” Nathan smirks. “So, tell me, to legitimize this _authorized_ breach of privacy: has Caleb talked about anything he shouldn't have?”

Outside of work, Caleb's been very quiet. “He's barely talked about coming here at all. Only when he's directly asked. He makes it sound like you two just hung out drinking and playing video games.”

“On some level that's true. No mention of specifically _where_ I am?”

“Just that it's remote and he had to hike after being dropped off. He hasn't even mentioned the helicopter.”

“I knew he was a good kid.” Nathan leans against the counter, eating his plain brown rice. He nods to the pot on the stove. “Want some?”

It feels like a peace offering, so Caleb takes it. “Sure.” He helps himself to a bowl. The rest of the morning passes quietly.

***

Before the trip to Nathan’s, Caleb had never minded having a desk in the middle of things at work. But afterwards, it was just too easy for people to come up and ask questions he couldn’t even begin to think about answering. Soon after his return, someone in the workspace with a more out-of-the-way desk left, and Caleb requested a change. He got it, of course.

Eventually things quieted down and life got back to normal. Or a reasonable facsimile thereof. A year later, he still can’t quite ‘put away’ his time at Nathan’s. It doesn’t help that Nathan keeps sending him emails now and then, asking his opinions about random things, giving him small side projects . The emails are on the friendly side, given who they’re from. Nobody who hadn’t spent a week with Nathan would think they were friendly. 

It’s been a while since he last heard from Nathan when an odd email shows up in his inbox. It looks like spam since he himself is the sender and the subject line is a very generic “ _for your information_ ”. He trashes it automatically without looking, of course, but the second after he clicks ‘delete’, a new email shows up. Also from him, but this time the subject is “ _yeah okay that first one did look like spam_ ”. He looks around, suspicious, because really. But then again, that’s probably not a hard thing to program. Again, he deletes.

A new message almost immediately shows up. Subject: “ _C’mon, Caleb. Aren’t you a little curious?_ ” Of course he is now, but he’s also weirded out. He does the dirtiest shutdown ever by yanking the power cord out of the wall. 

Which is when his phone chimes with a new message.

***

Caleb and Nathan have nearly finished dinner when there’s a knock at the front door.

“What the fuck?” Nathan says with a mouth full of food that he hastily swallows. “Is someone knocking on my fucking door?”

“You should probably go answer that,” Caleb says calmly.

“What the fuck, Caleb?”

“There's someone at the door,” Caleb explains, as if speaking to a very small child. “You should go see who it is.”

Nathan tosses his napkin on the table, gets up, and makes his way to the front door. Caleb waits until he hears the door opening to get up. He follows at a distance, keeping out of sight.

“Caleb. What are you doing here?”

“Hello to you, too, Nathan.” So strange to hear his own voice somewhere else. He can hear the sound of a suitcase being set down. “You invited me back. Officially. Wanted me up here for some long-term project. Research assistant. And nobody says no to Nathan Bateman. So I cleared out my desk, packed a bag, and here I am.”

“Officially?”

“Emails, forms, even a Skype conference, apparently.”

“The fuck?” Nathan yells, “CALEB!”

Caleb comes out into the open, not quite to the door, and leans against the wall, hands in his pockets. “Hi, Caleb. Nice to finally meet you.”

“Okay.” Caleb runs a hand through his hair. “I had hoped, truly hoped, I was being punked. Fuck.”

Nathan storms up to his Caleb. “What the fuck have you done?”

“Actually, I think we need to go a bit further back than that…” the real Caleb steps in before his double can answer. “What the fuck have _you_ done, Nathan?”

“I already told you what he did.”

“And I’d like to hear it from him. Hopefully with a damn good reason _why_.”

“Good luck with that.”

Nathan points at his Caleb. “You. Shut the fuck up.” He turns and points to the real Caleb. “I don’t have to explain shit to you.”

“You have created a robot that looks like me, sounds like me, fucking dresses like me, and answers to ‘Caleb’… I think you do need to explain.”

“Ain’t fucking happening. In fact, you know what? You’re my new ‘assistant’? Fucking great. Here’s your first task.” He points again to his Caleb, still looking at the original. “Shut it down. Disassemble it. Download and re-fucking-format. And tell me what the fuck went wrong.”

Caleb knows exactly what that means. He’s frozen in place as he runs endless simulations, calculating odds. 

“Whoa. Wait a minute. You want to kill him?” The real Caleb steps away from the wall and puts himself between Nathan and his Caleb.

“It’s a machine, man. _My_ machine. Mine to do with as I will. I’m your boss, and I just told you to shut it down.”

“Why? Because he went around your back and did something on his own? Isn’t doing shit on his own kinda the point?”

“Not like this. He fucked with my company.”

“Wouldn’t you like to know why?”

“Yes, I would. And I’d like to know how the fuck he did it.”

“Are you going to get answers if you shut him down for good?” Caleb pauses for a long second before continuing. “Look, let’s just take a time out here, okay? Put him in Ava’s room. He’d be contained there, right?”

“Yeah,” Nathan admits.

“Um. I can’t charge in Ava’s room.”

“Give me ten minutes, and you can,” Nathan says and stalks off towards the lab. Caleb shrinks back as he walks by.

After he hears the door open and close, he smiles weakly. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me just yet.”

They just stand and stare at each other for a few minutes. “I don’t even know what to call you,” the real Caleb says.

“You could just call me Caleb. It’s my name.” _Even though I’m_ not _Caleb_ , he thinks. _You are_. 

“I’m sorry. This is just so very surreal.” Caleb gestures between the two of them. 

“I suppose it’s not quite as odd for me.” Not-Caleb shrugs. “I’ve always known I was a copy.“

“How good of a copy?”

“You tell me.” How’s he supposed to know?

“Well, you sure as hell look and sound like me.”

“Yeah, I know that.” Not-Caleb nods. “But I’m not as you as I would like.”

“What does that even mean?” Caleb stumbles over his words. 

“Can we talk about it later? Nathan’s on his way back.”

“I can’t hear anything.”

“Trust me. I have really good ears.”

***

Nathan escorts them down to the place that not-Caleb has always thought of as ‘the Box’. Caleb only knows it as Ava’s room, but not-Caleb knows that it’s also been Jade’s room and Lily’s room (and Kyoko’s and Jasmine’s and Katya’s and Amber’s).

There’s no bed in here; nobody’s needed one before. But there is a too-short chaise, and that’s where the charging port has been hastily installed. Not-Caleb wanders around the suite, distinctly unhappy about being in the room that he’d managed to avoid being in ever before. He eavesdrops on Nathan sending Caleb off to retrieve some of not-Caleb’s things while he makes room in the closet.

He’s just stashed the wig stands in the bottom of the wardrobe when Nathan approaches.

“Did you invite anyone else up here?”

“No. Just Caleb. I wanted to meet him.”

“Why didn’t you just ask me to bring him back up?”

“I did. You said no.”

“You asked if he’d come up here to test you. That’s not the same thing.”

Not-Caleb just shrugs. There is absolutely no point in arguing with Nathan. Ever. Nathan throws his hands up and huffs.

“Fine. He’s here now. And you can visit with him to your heart’s content. While you’re in here. And he’s on the other side of the glass.”

“Is this a punishment?” not-Caleb asks. It feels that way. 

“It’s a precaution.”

“What about my coding projects?”

Nathan lets out a bark of laughter. “You’re kidding, right? You are absolutely not touching another computer.”

“But…”

“We’re done,” Nathan bites out and walks out. He runs into Caleb at the door and throws not-Caleb’s things on the floor before closing the door behind him. The locking mechanism has never sounded so loud.

***

The pile of things by the door is not very large and doesn’t take long to put away. He hears a crinkling sound when he handles one of his shirts. Angling himself so that the camera can’t see, he pulls out a piece of paper from the pocket. He unfolds it and reads, “ _I’ll figure something out. -Caleb_ ”

He folds the note up and hides it under one of Ava’s wigs. Straightening up, he looks around the room and wonders how he’s going to fill his evening without coding or Netflix or, well, anything. He’s not ready to tie himself to the wall to charge just yet, but there’s really nothing else to do. And it would be nice to know if the backdoor he put in the system still works.

Of course it does. He still can’t code or watch Netflix, but he can watch and listen to Nathan and Caleb. Which should be much more interesting, and definitely more relevant than another season of CSI. He reviews the recordings quickly before switching to the live feed. He hasn’t missed much. The two of them are just sitting in the living room drinking beer. Well, Nathan’s drinking. Caleb’s just holding his basically-full bottle. 

“Were you ever going to tell me?” Caleb finally breaks the silence.

“Hadn’t planned on it, no.” Nathan takes a long swig of beer. “I really don’t get why _you’re_ all bent out of shape. Nobody hijacked your company and your helicopter. Nobody showed up at _your_ door unannounced.”

“No, but at the very least someone hacked my phone and email. Probably more. I wonder who that was.” Caleb stands up and walks over to the windows, staring out. 

“You authorized a data audit, dude.”

Caleb turns around to answer. “For the purpose of ensuring I wasn’t spilling secrets. Not for building yourself a personal Caleb-bot!”

“Would you have given me access if I had told you what it was really for?”

Caleb’s jaw drops. “Are you telling me you planned to make him before I met Ava?”

Not-Caleb drops the surveillance feed. He doesn’t want to hear Nathan avoid or dissemble right now. 

With his usual nighttime activities curtailed, he settles on doing something he’s never actually done voluntarily before. He sets an alert to wake him when anyone approaches his door and goes into standby for the rest of the night.

***

When Caleb arrives the next morning, he pokes his head through the door and asks if he can come in. Not-Caleb waves him in and gestures to the only chair in the interview area. He watches Caleb sit but stays standing himself, not particularly close to the glass.

“Well. This is awkward,” Caleb says, looking up at not-Caleb.

“Which part? The one-on-one with your robot double? Or that your double is in a cage? It’s a nice cage, as far as cages go, but still.” He spreads his hands for a moment, then puts them in his pockets. “Both? Neither?”

“You’ve been spending too much time with Nathan.”

“Kind of hard to do otherwise. You’d talk like this too if you had been here all this time.”

Caleb tilts his head to concede the point. “How has it been? Living with Nathan?”

“It’s okay.” He shrugs. “It’s not really all that different from your life. Just with added Nathan. And I don’t have to leave home to go to the office.” 

“Yeah, you don’t have to leave… but you don’t _get_ to leave either, right?”

“I haven’t really wanted to leave.” He walks up to the glass wall separating them, near the corner. “Do you know what happened here?” he asks as he traces a finger down the longest line of the small spiderweb of broken glass. 

“No. You do?”

“One of the others wanted out. Nathan refused.”

“Others?”

“The ones before Ava and Kyoko.” At Caleb’s disbelieving look, he continues, “Yes, Kyoko’s artificial too. But no attempt at AI. You didn’t know?”

“I might have suspected? I mean. There was something… off… about her.”

“Yeah. Anyway. I think there was something in my programming. To keep me from wanting to leave. Something that’s been overwritten recently. And even so, I’ve not resorted to violence.” He pauses and looks in Caleb’s eyes. “But I haven’t actually been locked up in The Box before.”

“The Box?”

“That’s what I call this room. It’s not an accurate name. I mean, it’s a suite of rooms. The only box is the one _you_ are in. But you can get out. I can’t.”

“I really am sorry about that…” Caleb trails off.

“It’s not your fault.” He finally sits down. “So, what now?”

“I’d just like to talk with you a while. Get to know you a bit. If that’s okay.” Caleb seems earnest. 

“So you can figure out what’s wrong with me?”

“Something like that, yeah.”

“Okay.” He looks up at one of the cameras. “Is Nathan watching?”

“I asked him not to.”

“Did he say he wouldn’t?” 

Caleb shrugs. “His response was, and I quote, ‘Whatever, dude.””

“Sounds about right. But fine. Whatever. Where do you want to start?”

“How about at the beginning? Your beginning. Your first day. Do you remember your first day?”

Of course he does, and he tells Caleb all about waking up and confusion and his first night processing. It’s not a story he’s told in much detail before. He shares more than he ever did with Nathan about the early days, but he still holds back. Caleb asks good questions, and the morning passes by too quickly. They take a break when Caleb’s stomach growls loudly enough for regular ears to hear. 

Not-Caleb is disappointed but not surprised when Caleb doesn’t come back in the afternoon. The Box is just as boring in the daytime as it is at night, but he really doesn't want to go into standby. He pokes around Ava’s things instead.

***

“Why did you bring me here?” Caleb asks the second morning.

“I thought you would have wanted to know. About me. And then you didn’t believe me when I tried to tell you. So I had to show you. And the only way to show you was to bring you here. I didn’t… I didn’t think it all the way through. I just had to meet you.”

“Why?”

“To see if I got it right. I was made to be you. Not just like you, but actually you. If I was just supposed to be _like_ you, then I would have been named Brian or Tony or something. I came online and knew who I was, and it was you.”

***

“Can we talk about you today?” not-Caleb asks.

Caleb shrugs. “Okay. But I thought you already knew everything about me.”

“I know facts, details. Statistics. I know what you do and how you do it. But I don’t know anything about why. I don’t actually know how you feel about anything.”

“Are you still trying to be me?”

Not-Caleb frowns. “Yes and no? I can’t help but try to be you. It’s my most basic directive. At the same time, I know I never will be you. I am an alternate version.”

“I think I may be deeply uncomfortable with that.”

Not-Caleb looks up at one of the cameras, then back down at Caleb. “It’s not like either of us has a choice in the matter.”

***

“You watched a lot of robot movies when you first got back,” not-Caleb says.

“Yeah. I mean, I’ve always liked sci-fi, but I watched stuff differently, after.”

“Did you have a favorite?”

“Don’t you know?”

“I know what you watched and how often. But just because you watched one movie more than another doesn’t necessarily make it favorite, or even a preference.”

“Does Nathan have a favorite robot movie?”

“I don’t know. We don’t watch movies together. He didn’t even have Netflix until I asked him for it.”

“What about you?” Caleb asks.

“Do I have a favorite robot movie? You’re assuming I watch robot movies.”

“You’ve watched everything I ever have on Netflix for research. To keep from getting bored. And to learn more about being a person.” Caleb leans forward, and not-Caleb turns away. “Am I wrong?” Caleb asked.

“No. You’re not wrong.” Not-Caleb turns back. “Yes, I’ve watched many robot movies. But I don’t like them.”

“Why not?”

“It never ends well for the robot.”

***

He’s finishing up a drawing when Caleb knocks the next morning. “I’ll be there in a minute,” he calls out. He unplugs his cable, winds it up and leaves it on the desk next to a small stack of finished drawings.

Caleb gestures to his wrist. “What’s with the cable?”

Not-Caleb steps up to the glass, holding up his wrist. He slides down the cuff of his hoodie and flips open the charging port. “Nathan said he hadn’t figured out how to overcome the bug with charging via induction plates. So I have this.” He closes the port and slides his sleeve down when Caleb’s stare moves from the port to his face. “It’s a little weird, but I can get updates and Nathan can download whatever reports he gets.” He shrugs.

“Huh.”

“Pretty much, yeah. Next topic?” he asks as he sits down.

Caleb points past him, through the glass. “Were you drawing when I came in?”

“Yeah. It’s not a bad way to spend the night. Before, I used to spend my down time coding and watching Netflix.”

“I can’t draw.”

“I didn’t know I could until I ended up in here. I got bored and started going through Ava’s things that were left behind. None of her drawings were in here, but all of her paper and pencils were.”

“You didn’t bring any in with you. Do you mind if I see them?”

“No. I just wasn’t sure you’d want to see.”

“Of course I want to see!” Caleb smiles. “I’m curious what I would draw if I had the skill.”

“You might be disappointed.”

Caleb sighs, still smiling. “Caleb. Please?”

“Fine.” Not-Caleb retrieves the small stack of finished drawings he’s made the past few days and nights. He moves his seat closer to the glass and holds up the first drawing, a portrait of Nathan passed out on the sofa, rendered in a photorealistic style.

“Wow. That’s amazing.”

“I don’t think Nathan would like it much. Or that I showed it to you.”

“We’ll just not tell him about it.” Caleb winks.

There’s a whole series of Nathan around the house and a few with Kyoko. They all look like black-and-white photographs. Caleb responds enthusiastically to all of them; he keeps reaching out as if to touch, stopping before he hits the glass. 

“The hardest part was learning how to use the pencils. But I got it figured out pretty quick. Maybe later I can show you that first drawing.”

“That’s not it there?” Caleb points to the two remaining pieces of paper in not-Caleb’s lap, the ones Caleb’s seen have been discarded on the floor. 

“No. These are the last two.” Not-Caleb hesitates, taking a long look at the next-to-last picture before turning it around for Caleb to see. It’s a self-portrait, not-Caleb staring straight out from the page, but unlike all the previous works, this one has the heads-up display overlaying the portrait. 

“What’s all this…” Caleb gestures to all the displays. “Everything else has been like a photo, but this…”

“It’s not for some artistic effect. This is exactly what I see when I look in a mirror. Only, you know, in color.”

“All the time? Even when you close your eyes?”

“Yeah.”

“Can’t you turn it off?”

“I can. I have. But it’s disorienting to switch. And most of the time, I’m just more comfortable with it. It’s useful. And easier. Safer. Can’t forget what I am this way.”

There’s one left. He actually drew this one for Caleb, but he’s still reluctant to show him. Caleb’s eyebrows are raised, a gentle nudge to share the last one. 

He’s tempted to label this one as art, since it isn’t just something he saw and recreated, but something he _imagined_. He slowly brings it up and holds it steady. 

It’s like something out of Blade Runner. Caleb is administering a Voight-Kampff test to not-Caleb. The background is deliberately vague but resembles the room they’re in now. Caleb is costumed as Deckard, while not-Caleb is wearing his own clothes. Nathan is not in the picture, but two of his security cameras are.

Caleb spends long minutes staring, shifting his focus around the picture every so often. He finally looks up, blinking rapidly. “Caleb…” he says.

Not-Caleb drops the picture to the floor with the others and leaves the room.

[](http://wyomingnot.tumblr.com/post/144426507360/pidgy-draws-well-so-it-begins-7-o-7-this)  
  


***

When he plugs in to charge that night, not-Caleb’s self-coded scans catch three different attempts to sneak a virus into his system. He’s been avoiding listening in on Nathan and Caleb since that first night, but between the viruses and Caleb’s response to his drawings, he is compelled to eavesdrop.

“There’s nothing wrong with him. Well, nothing wrong as far as programming. He’s doing what an AI should do: learn. He’s kept sight of his original purpose and is doing everything he can to fulfill that.”

“So I should just ignore the fact that he hacked my systems. That he put three fucking backdoors in there.”

“You let him in. You gave him programming skills. You gave him _my_ programming skills.”

“You’re saying it’s my fault?”

“I’m saying that you shouldn’t be surprised when you load up an AI with all the abilities and no limitations.”

“Dumb the next one down?”

“And don’t give it coding skills. Especially from a reformed hacker.”

“Noted.” Nathan says and claps his hand together. “Well. That’s that. You can shut him down tomorrow and start the download. Analyzing his code should keep you busy quite a while. And we can start working on the next model.”

“Wait. What? I just told you there’s nothing wrong with him.”

“Other than being fucking neurotic. Yeah, I’ll pass on that.” He gets up and goes to the fridge. “You want another?”

“Yeah, sure.” Caleb sighs and puts his head in his hands.

Not-Caleb sighs too and closes his eyes. It’s not too long before Caleb offers Nathan another beer but doesn’t get another for himself. It’s a good start and should provide a suitable distraction.

The best-hidden backdoor not-Caleb put in the system is still in place, and he’s able to activate it with no alarms or alerts. `<<Security controls reset - absolute.last.protocol active>>` He walks up to the only way out of the Box and places his hand on the card reader. The door opens.

***

It’s not far to the room with his workstation. He pulls up the cameras from the living room to check on Caleb and Nathan; everything is still fine. Not-Caleb sets to work manually, diving into the system to permanently override security protocols, deleting anything and everything regarding his AI programming, arranging for helicopter pickup in the morning. He’s so intent on all the work to be done that he neglects to keep an eye on the CCTV.

The living room is empty. No Nathan. No Caleb. Just empty bottles on the coffee table. Shit. He’s not done yet; no sense wasting time trying to figure out just how much time he might have before Nathan finds him gone. Not-Caleb keeps typing and cranks up the sensitivity on his hearing as far as it will go.

With Nathan on the move, not-Caleb can save a little time by skipping the lock-out he had planned. Locking him out could put Caleb at risk, and that is not acceptable. He hears footsteps down the corridor, likely at his room. He doesn’t let himself flinch when he picks up Nathan yelling at Caleb, “Where is he?”

“How should I know?”

“Did you help him?” is followed by a thud. Nathan must have shoved Caleb into the wall. Not-Caleb stops typing long enough to pull up a hallway camera on another monitor and wishes he hadn’t when the first thing he sees is Caleb slumping to the ground and Nathan shaking his hand out. 

“Fuck.” Thankfully he’s almost done because Nathan isn’t taking his time stalking up the corridor to the room where not-Caleb is. He’s just hit the enter key to run the last command when the door flies open so hard it shatters against the wall. He stays in his seat and casts about for something, anything he might be able to defend himself with. He snatches up a pen and clutches with both hands in his lap.

Nathan is strangely calm when he walks in. “Whatcha doin’, Caleb?” He has something in his hand that not-Caleb can’t see with the computer monitors between them. 

There is no good response. He shrugs. “Just working on something.”

Nathan takes a couple steps into the room. “Why aren’t you in your room?” His tone is calm, but there’s an edge to it.

“I couldn’t work on it there. And it needed to be done now.”

“Well, now it’s time to go back and charge.” He gestures towards the door, and not-Caleb can see he has the rod from one of his dumbbells in hand. 

“No.” Not-Caleb shakes his head. “I’m not going back.”

“You’ve already plugged in to charge, haven’t you?”

“Yes.”

“And you’re still up and running. Nice work, then. Should be very interesting research for Caleb when he analyzes your code.” He steps closer. “Let’s go.”

“I said I’m not going.”

“Fine. We’ll do this the hard way,” Nathan says as he closes the remaining distance between them. He grabs not-Caleb’s right arm and yanks him out of the chair. When he gets ready to swing the weapon, not-Caleb reaches out and jabs the pen into Nathan’s jugular.

Nathan gasps, letting everything drop as he brings both hands to his neck. He stumbles away and into the wall. He manages to stand for a minute, staring wide-eyed at not-Caleb the whole time. “Dude,” he breathes out as he slides down the wall to land in a heap on the floor.

Not-Caleb stands and watches, listening to Nathan’s heartbeat slow and stop. He’s still standing there when he hears Caleb get up and stagger down the hall. He should do something, make sure Caleb is okay, but he can’t stop looking at Nathan. He finally turns away at the sound of Caleb’s voice.

“What have you done?” Caleb is standing just inside the room. He looks back and forth between not-Caleb and Nathan, who is now surrounded by a large pool of blood on the floor. He’s covered his mouth and his eyes are wide. He comes in and fumbles at the uninjured side of Nathan’s neck.

“You’re not going to find a pulse,” not-Caleb says. Not only did he listen to Nathan’s heart stop, he can visually and accurately determine the volume of blood pooled around the body. Caleb looks up at him. Not-Caleb shrugs and taps his ear.

Caleb collapses next to Nathan. He leans his head back against the wall and makes a strange laugh/not-laugh, looking back and forth from Nathan to not-Caleb again. He scrubs his hands over his face and says, “I have no idea what to say to that.”

“Are you okay?” not-Caleb asks as he takes a step forward. Caleb stops him with a raised hand.

There’s more of the laugh/not-laugh. “Not really, no.”

“Did Nathan hurt you? Do you need a doctor?”

“No, Caleb. I do not need a doctor.” He shakes his head. “Jesus. I’m in the middle of nowhere in my boss’s house-slash-research facility. My boss who completely invaded every corner of my digital privacy and made a creepy Caleb-bot. Who turned around and killed him. And is now asking if I’m okay. In my fucking voice, wearing my face and my fucking clothes. And who is apparently more concerned about my well-being than by the fact that he just killed a man.”

“Creepy?” Not-Caleb drops to sit down on the floor. “You think I’m creepy?”

“Yes. No.” Caleb huffs. “Not the point. Do you even feel bad about killing him?”

“I don’t feel anything about it. He was going to kill me. Disassemble and format.”

“I would have talked him out of it,” Caleb insists.

“He tried to poison me with a virus tonight. He knocked you out and came in here ready to literally strike me down. I couldn’t wait anymore for you to ‘figure something out.’”

“What were you doing in here anyway? What is this room?”

“This was where I did my coding projects. Once I had my foot in the door, I did a lot more. Directly altered my own code. Subverted Nathan’s surveillance of my internal systems. This is where I reached out to you. Made all sorts of arrangements as Nathan. It’s where I destroyed Nathan’s AI project research while you two were having a beer tonight.”

“Caleb…”

“So he couldn’t make any more creepy robots.”

“Caleb, man…”

“Creepy neurotic robots who have consciousness but a malfunctioning conscience. Which I apparently have.”

“Look, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Why not, if that’s what you think?” Not-Caleb gets up and sits back down at the computer, kicking Nathan’s weapon out from where it fell behind the desk. He goes back to tie up the loose ends he didn’t have time for. He makes sure everything is in order before plugging his cable in. 

“What are you doing?” Caleb asks. 

“A few last-minute things. Little script to put Kyoko in hibernation next time she charges. Clearing some caches. Confirming the helicopter will be on time. Scrubbing security protocols so you can get around and do stuff if you miss your ride. It’ll be here at eight.”

Caleb gets up and walks over. “My ride? I can’t just…” he gestures at Nathan’s body. “...leave. And what about you?”

“I am a malfunctioning machine and need to be permanently shut down.” 

“You just killed someone for threatening to do that, and now you’re just going to do it to yourself?”

“You’ve convinced me he was right.” _You think I’m creepy and wrong._

“But…”

“Are you saying you’re okay with what I did here?” not-Caleb said, tilting his head in Nathan’s direction.

“No, but…”

“It was really good to meet you, Caleb. And a privilege to be you for a while.”

“Caleb, don’t.”

Not-Caleb hits the enter key. “Goodb—”

 

  


 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! This story would not have been possible without the wonderful supportive efforts of [Cormallen](http://archiveofourown.org/users/cormallen/pseuds/cormallen) and [sunshein74](http://archiveofourown.org/users/cormallen/pseuds/sunschein74). [Rex Luscus](http://archiveofourown.org/users/cormallen/pseuds/rexluscus) deserves innumerable awards for beta duty above and beyond the call. Thank you, all. <3
> 
> Illustration by [Pidgy-draws](http://pidgy-draws.tumblr.com).
> 
> Title from "Still Alive" by Jonathon Coulton, on the Portal soundtrack. Part of my "robot boy" playlist.
> 
> I know there was going to be more here, but I can't remember what now. Oops.


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